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Energy Cords: The Ties That Bind

I want to tell you a little about energy cords. These truly are the ties that bind. I love to tug of war-man & womanshare stories and thought you might like this one:

I was just talking to a client about an experience I had back at the end of 1989. I was at a Christmas party with a friend and had just settled into a comfortable spot that gave me a prime view of the front door and anyone walking through it.

I watched as a few people came in. Then, I saw a woman come in with her husband following. I don’t remember their names, so I’ll call them Steve and Val.

Val walked in normally, but when Steve came in, he stopped and scanned the room with focus and intention. I watched him, curious. I glanced away when he started to look at me, but then, felt his attention really connect with me. I looked straight back at him and smiled.

Steve walked toward me and sat down next to me.
“You knew what I was doing, didn’t you?” he said.
I looked back at him and said, “Yeah. How long have you been doing that?”
“Oh, a long time. I get energy from people.”
Steve was connecting on an energetic level with people, and then, absorbing some of their energy, or life force.
I asked Steve, “Aren’t you taking on the bad stuff too?”
“Oh, no. It helps me.,” he said with conviction.
I was completely skeptical that he wasn’t affected by his attempt to cord people in this way.

What I mean by cording is that energetic connection we have with some people like family, friends, teachers and sometimes, people we’ve been in intimate relationships with. It’s almost tangible. If you’re sensitive to energy, it’s very tangible. It’s like developing a muscle to become sensitive to it. It gets stronger the more you use it.

Because I work with emotional energy so much, I’m pretty sensitive to it. Frequently, I know when someone tries to cord me and what’s going on with them that they think they need to hook in like this. I can feel it.

Most of the time, people don’t know they’re cording someone. It happens unconsciously. These cords are created when there’s an intense emotional connection or desire for connection. Sometimes, that connection isn’t healthy; it’s draining. The other thing is that no one can cord you if you don’t let them.

Anyway, several months later, Steve’s wife called me and left a message for me to call her back. Later that night when I called, Steve picked up. His wife was gone. I left a message with him, but I had to ask him, “Do you still do that thing when you hook into people and take some of their energy?”
“Nooooo,” he said emphatically. “I realized I was taking on the bad stuff too.”
I smiled to myself. “I’m glad you stopped,” I said and told him goodnight. Funny thing, his wife never called me back. I truly believe Steve and I were meant to have that conversation.

I talk about these energy cords in my book, “Ride the Emotional Wave,” in more detail and how to clear the ones that are draining. If it’s draining you, it’s draining the other person too. It may be caused by unhealthy, codependent issues that you both have. You mirror each other and hook in. This doesn’t serve either one of you.

Just a reminder: the comments section of my blog has been shut down on account of spam. If you leave a comment there, I won’t get it. Leave a message on FB, Twitter or LinkedIn.

As always, remember and live your passion.
Maren Nelson

Embracing the Priestess

PriestessThe past few months, I’ve been experiencing some major changes within my consciousness and in my life. Recently, I even told my son, “I feel like someone opened the door wide so more light can shine through…” He knew what I meant because he understands energy work.

I spoke with another friend and told her, “For a long time, I felt that when I worked with people, I would totally step into the priestess. Yet, in my personal life, I seemed to attract a lot of drama. I knew there was a split. That split is integrating. I feel more whole than I’ve ever felt.” I asked her if she understood what I meant, and she thoughtfully answered, “Yes…”

I’m starting to see results all around me.! Most of all: it’s how I feel; deep and profound joy! I love it!

I can’t help but notice how other people respond. I remember the first time I noticed how people would respond to me when I was more open vs. when I was more shut down. I was 16 years old. I would play with it, and then, watched the results. It was quite interesting.

Well, I’m seeing it again only this time I’m working on staying open. It’s kind of tricky because as I work to stay consciously open and loving, anything I might be unconsciously holding within my mind that’s been in the way of me staying open in the past, is coming to the surface to be healed…again. This is just a deeper level.

The biggest difference is that now I understand that’s part of the process of healing: to embrace all aspects of myself, the dark and the light. As I do, I can feel the constriction let go…and WOW…my love and life opens up again.

After so many years of clearing limiting beliefs and those old tapes that go off telling me internally, “No! Don’t go there! You can’t do that!” I have a lot of tools to help myself clear that stuff quicker and easier than I used to. So, go there and do that, I will! Face those demons! Well, maybe a step at a time…

I’m living my passion which is to share love. I encourage you, as always, to remember your passion. Instead, how about, “Live your passion!”

Maren Nelson

Taking a Stand Is Changing My Life!

maren nelsonSince I last posted, there have been some amazing events and insights open up for me in my life. Although what I went through with reporting sexual harassment recently was very difficult for me, it was worth it.

I hated the feelings of anger and rage about feeling like I’d been put in a position to have to put up with abuse. I hated the feeling (that was based on an old, negative belief I had held) that I couldn’t do anything about it.

Facing the facts about what was happening at my old job and how I felt about it (instead of ignoring it) was a strong step. Then, taking positive action to do something about it, was the next big step.

When it was happening, I told my son, Dylan, “If I ignore what’s going on or if I retaliate with anger and abusive words, nothing really changes. I know there’s another way!” I knew I’d be guided through prayer and my deep connection to my Guides and God about how to handle the situation, my feelings, and even my perceptions about it. Well, I have been guided, and it’s been an interesting ride.

Within a day or two after I sent the questionnaire back to the EEOC, the government agency that deals with sexual harassment and discrimination, things started shifting for me in my life, and my business picked up immediately. I’ve been observing what’s happening with amusement and amazement as I follow my inner guidance as it’s presented to me.

I find it extremely interesting that this influx of clients seems to be mostly men at the moment. I know that I’m being guided as the focus of my work is shifting. New information is starting to come to me while I work, between sessions, and in meditation. I feel a deep love, compassion and acceptance for my clients, and I know they all feel it at some level.

Most of these new people coming in know nothing about energy work, Breathwork, or why anyone would even want to focus on clearing emotions. I can’t help but giggle because I feel like I have a captive audience as I share a little with them if it feels right.

Something happened for me when I sent that questionnaire off to the EEOC. It was really hard to do, but immediately afterwards, everything in my life started to change. I’m very clear that some healing, a shift in perception has happened for me. It’s deep and it’s profound. It’s about feeling like I have a choice! I have a voice!

By taking a stand and doing something about a situation where I felt I was being forced into something I didn’t want, I can see the little kid in me feels safe. She (I) had an experience of me taking care of her (of myself), even if it was hard.

I know that this phase of my life, work and purpose is evolving right now. I don’t know how this adventure is going to unfold, but I’m very excited. I’m following my guidance through this, and I feel trusting, passionate, and grateful for all of it. I’ll keep you posted.

In the meantime, always remember your passion.

Love, Maren Nelson

Healing Sexual Harassment

maren nelsonIf you recall, I put up a post recently about the Kundalini awakening experience I went through at the beginning of 2001. I shared how when the energy moved into my 3rd chakra, I experienced an intense rage I was holding about the limiting belief that men can get away with whatever they want and no one will do anything about it. This belief started when I was very young with sexual abuse. I was told not to tell by my primary caretakers and no one did anything. I finally stopped it when I was 15.

Since I became aware of this for myself and how deeply I held it within my body, the energy seemed to have died down. That is, until recently.

I learned a very important lesson and gained information that I know many people don’t know about sexual harassment: what constitutes sexual harassment, what to do about it and how doing something about it fits in with my beliefs and values.

I just left a job where for the past several months two guys in the office were carrying on with extremely inappropriate sexual comments directed toward women on a daily basis in front of everyone. For a while because I thought we were friends, I tried to ignore it. However, as time went on things progressed to a point where I could no longer ignore it.

Although on one hand everyone in the office was being told we could go to the supervisors if we were unhappy with it, on the other hand the looks and comments were, “If anyone does, you’ll be considered the bitch of the company.” (Excuse the swearing, but that’s how it was.)

I finally got to where I couldn’t work in an environment like that anymore as it was making me very unhappy, and I was taking those feelings home with me and started getting really sick. I quit the job and got hold of an attorney friend of mine and asked him if he would advise me.

I learned a few things out of this that I want to pass onto other people.

  1. I learned that I didn’t know what to do during the time it happened and that most people don’t know.
  2. I learned that I should have gone above the supervisor (he was part of the problem) and gone to the owners from the beginning to tell them what was going on and every time after that.
  3. I realized how much my old programming about “don’t tell” had stopped me from going to the owners when I should have.
  4. I found out that a person needs to file complaint with the EEOC which I’m in the process of doing now. It’s a government office and can be found online.

But I did a couple of really important things right:

  1. I got out of that office.
  2. I had the willingness to do something about it by talking to an attorney.

I want to share an email with you that I received from a very dear friend and client after telling him I wanted to write about this that he said I could share here. He brings up a couple of very good points that I had thought of but have been trying to decide how to put it into words:

Maren,

You are a true guide of the inner world; a spiritual soul committed to others development, health and success.  It is a pleasure to help you when I can.

If you’re going to write about sexual harassment there are many aspects to consider but there is both the individual’s actions and the cultural agreement reality which either supports those actions or makes it more difficult to take sexual advantage of another.

This is not merely about what happened to you but about dignity and autonomy for each member of our society in their life and world.  This is a big topic.  Implied in the background is how to make appropriate relational (sexual) advances and when good intentions become pathology?  I’m sure you will move the conversation forward.

Much Love, Tom Feldman <Tom@ClearFireMedia.com>

Tom Feldman is a relationship and life coach and workshop leader. He specializes in getting people in touch with their authentic nature. He has an MA in Global Studies and is a founding member of the Southern California Association of Transformational Leaders.

Tom touches on some great points and I’m going to continue to write about this and the split that divides men and women and how to heal it in future blogs. If you’d like to comment, you can leave a comment of Facebook, Twitter or LinkedIn. You can also leave a comment in the “Contact” section of my website. This may hit a nerve for a lot of people.

Remember your passion. Maren

How to Stop a Vampire

VampireI have to tell you a funny story: For anyone who’s ever experienced how powerful Breathwork is, I think you’ll find the humor in this too. First, maybe I need to explain a little about Breathwork for those of you who haven’t experienced it yet.

The breath is a powerful tool to use to clear the mind, body and emotions of toxins and negativity caused from drugs (prescription/non-prescription), medications, anesthesia, alcohol, antibiotics, Novocain, along with intense emotions we have suppressed throughout our lives.

That energy doesn’t simply leave our bodies. It stays trapped within our cells and congests over time. This dense energy puts stress on our bodies and eventually the body breaks down with disease.

With the drawing of a deep breath, we take in life-force energy or prana which carries a very high, fine-tuned vibration. Anything of a lower or denser vibration, is forced out of the body. As this lower-frequency energy releases, it can feel very intense with strong vibrations and emotional releases.

During a session with a client, I act as a guide to support them through the process of clearing this energy. I help them understand how unconscious, limiting core beliefs they have and the negative behavior that stems from them are often tied into this blocked energy they’ve been holding onto and help them clear it.

Sometimes, if and when they are willing and ready to let go, I get to witness their reawakening as the love that they all are shines through and they reconnect with their Divine Self. It’s an amazing experience when that happens.

So, there’s the explanation; here’s the story:

A while back, a friend at work asked me if I knew how to stop a vampire. Apparently, he had read about it somewhere.

Before I could answer (BTW: I didn’t have one), the fellow sitting next to me jumped in and said, “Oh, she’d just stop and reach out to them and would say, ”It’s okay, it’s okay! Just take a breath…this is normal…just breathe!

This guy had never experienced a session himself. All he knew was the little bit I had told him in the short time I’d known him. Yet, although he didn’t know it, he hit the nail on the head. That is exactly what happens when I work with clients and they’re clearing that blocked energy.

As you release that negativity in a session, in a way, you do feel like a Zombie: stiff arms and hands, sometimes feeling really aggressive; like you want to tear someone’s head off, or just plain numb. As you stay with the breath, eventually the toxic energy will clear.

However, the way to stop a vampire is you have to disconnect their brain stem. Pretty awful, huh? I think I’ll stick with Breathwork.

Happy Halloween and remember your passion!

Blessings, Maren Nelson

My Kundalini Awakening

One morning as I got ready to go out to do some marketing for my business, I noticed I was feeling anxious for some reason. Just as I reached for the doorknob to leave, I very clearly felt the presence of my Guides move in closely around me, and I heard, “Sit down and just be with this.” I trusted what I heard, and I did as I was instructed.

Almost instantly, I felt heat spread through my pelvic area. Then, it seemed to gather itself into a ball of energy about the size of an orange just below my naval, and I felt intense sexual energy. The ball of energy began to wind its way up inside me just like a snake.
At the time, I didn’t understand what was going on, but knew it was something important. I grabbed my journal and scribbled out what I was experiencing.

The energy moved up to my solar plexus. There it stopped, and I felt a deep rage built inside me. At first I didn’t know what it was about so I asked my Guides out loud, “What is this?” I knew immediately it was rage toward men for the sexual, physical and emotional abuse I had experienced while growing up and had continued to attract later in life. I saw clearly the limiting belief I had carried that men can get away with whatever they want and no one will do anything to stop it.

I wanted to release this rage and this false belief and not carry it anymore. Immediately, I remembered: if we’re experiencing any kind of negative emotion, it’s always based on some kind of misperception. So, I said to my Guides, “Help me to see this differently!” Suddenly in my mind, it was like I was looking down a timeline going all the way back from where we switched from the matriarchal order to the patriarchal order.

I could see the negative beliefs and guilt that has been passed down from generation to generation to men. I realized how many men believed that they had to act machismo or even be abusive to be a man. And many women took on the belief they had to be subservient to men or abused. I saw how both men and women continue to reinforce this negativity that keep us all locked into insane behaviors and beliefs that profoundly limit both sexes.

I felt the ball of energy move again, and it wound its way up into my heart center. There it stopped again. This time I felt a deep grief well up inside me, and I began to sob…gut wrenching sobs. I asked again, “What is this?” and I knew it was grief for men. Again I cried out, “Help me to see this differently!”

I felt my heart open with a profound love and compassion for men, and the energy moved up into my throat. An overwhelming desire to tell other people about this experience and what I had just learned welled up inside me. I wanted more than anything to be a part of helping to heal the split that exists between men and women.

I felt the energy spread out so that it was no longer a ball and it moved up to my 3rd eye and crown. Suddenly I realized that everything I had gone through in my life had led me to this moment. I realized that the abuse I had gone through as a child and continued to attract later and all the healing I have consciously and intentionally pushed for all these years for myself had given me a deep knowledge and understanding of this split and how I can help to heal it. I have a voice and can make a difference!

The phone rang just then. I wouldn’t have answered except that my friend, Joe, was always so busy that I didn’t want to pass up the call. Also there was a part of me that enjoyed sharing stories of my experiences with him because I knew he didn’t know whether to believe me or not or this “nutty, fruity stuff” as he called it.

As we were talking, it was as though a star burst inside me around my naval and shot out through my body and extremities. I was tingling all over. The entire experience lasted only a few minutes. Joe was speechless as he heard me describe what was happening.
Within a couple of hours I realized I had gone through a Kundalini Awakening. It took me a couple of weeks to fully integrate the energy and experience.

Over the next few weeks, I felt like I was adjusting to the new frequencies. Waves of blissful energy kept surging through me, especially in my heart chakra. I gave myself a lot of quiet and meditation time to integrate it all.

I know that 15 years of doing Breathwork helped to activate the Kundalini energy for me, and 17 years of doing different forms of emotional release work including Breathwork gave me the tools and information to easily assist the energy on it’s upward journey through my body.

Although this experience happened to me in Jan of 2001 and I’ve shared it with some of my friends, this is the first time I’ve shared it with the public. It was such an intensely personal experience.

Since sharing my love with others is my passion and my purpose, I feel it’s time to share this experience with you.

I invite you all to remember your passion.

Blessings, Maren Nelson

Simplify Your Life

Get rid of stuffRecently I went through all of my things to see what I was ready to let go of. It had been quite a while since I had done this which was unusual for me. It felt really good as the pile of things I wanted to get rid of got larger and larger.

I had been packing around a lot of books and, for some time, had been thinking about ones I could get rid of. I love my books! This was a big step for me.

As I examined each book, I asked myself, “Am I ever going to read this again?” One by one I let go of my Conversations with God books, several Marianne Williams, Deepak Chopra, and Dan Millman books. These books had been part of the backbone of my spiritual journey and emotional healing for a long time. I realized I didn’t need them anymore. I have the information inside me at a very core level now.

Taking the time to clear out some of the clutter reacquainted me with what is important to me in my life. I felt a deep love and gratitude for my past and all the people and experiences in it that brought me to the present moment. It also gave me a deeper sense of clarity about my purpose which is to share love.

One of the things I’ve done to help simplify my life is to close down the Comment section of my blog. Over time, it had become a huge waste of time to sift out the spam comments. I’m happy to say that time I used there is now being used much more productively for my business.

I encourage you to simplify your life in those areas that you can. Find ways to lighten the load as an act of compassion and love for yourself. Watch how your time and energy will be freed up for the things that are truly important to you now.

And as always, remember your passion, Maren Nelson

Miracles Vs. Grievances

Sun-shining-cloudsI’ve been reading in A Course In Miracles about how our grievances hide God’s Light and Love from us. Grievances are like dark clouds that block the sun. The sun is still there, however, our focus is on the clouds and not the light.

In reality, grievances have no real substance or power except for the power we give them. That power is our love which is our direct link to God.

Whether we choose to love our grievances (or anything) and therefore, make them real, is up to us. We can choose to direct that focus of love to see the Light within all people and all situations because it is always there.

Within the past couple of weeks I’ve had the opportunity to see this play out for me and a good friend of mine. My friend, whom I’ll call Manny, had just gotten off the phone with his girlfriend. They’d been having one of their usual, nasty arguments. I was the first woman to cross his path afterwards, and it wasn’t long before he turned that anger on me.

It wasn’t what he said as much as how he said it with that cruel intonation and aggressive energy that comes with wanting to pick a fight.

After a couple of his verbal jabs from Manny, I finally said flatly, “I’d be alright if you’d stop snapping at me.” The fight was on. He tried to deny that he’d snapped at me so I asked another person in the room if they heard it, which they had. I said to him, “Manny, this isn’t about me. It’s about your girlfriend. Go take it out on her. That’s who you’re mad at,” and I walked away. (I didn’t really want him to take it out on his girlfriend.)

I really don’t think he realized what he was doing. He was in that zone, an altered, zombie-like state, of anger and needing to be right and couldn’t see past it to what he was doing.

Over the next couple of hours, Manny would periodically throw another one of these jabs out seeing if I’d take the bait. Finally, I said to him (trying to keep as much emotion out of the statement as possible), “I know this isn’t about me, but it is not fun being on the receiving end of this.”

Manny sat down in front of me, everything in his body language telling me he was going to tell me all the reasons he was right and I was wrong. He was going to dump his stuff on me. I took one look and said, “I am not going there with you!” and walked away.

Manny and I were still upset with each other when I left, but over the next week I read in the Course about letting go of grievances:

”The light has come. I have forgiven the world.”…“I am entitled to miracles.”…“I will not trade miracles for grievances. I want only what belongs to me. God has established miracles as my right.”…“Let me replace all grievances.”

After a couple of days Manny apologized, but I could still feel his anger toward me. I kept getting intuitively to let this play out to the end.

The next day while driving in the car, I prayed over and over to God to remove the anger from me and to help me see Manny and the situation differently. Within minutes I got a picture in my mind of me hugging Manny and telling him I love him.

Shortly after my prayers, it happened just like I saw in my mind. Manny melted with my hug. I could feel his heart start to open.

We sat down, and I touched his shoulder gently and said, “I’m not here because I have to be. I’m here because I want to b. I mean that as a compliment…This whole thing with you made me feel very sad.” He relaxed even more and said, “Me too.”

Instead of holding onto my resentment, I was really able to see the light in my friend. I was truly guided through an experience that could have turned ugly, but instead, it became a miracle for us both.

I’m not sure the full extent Manny was aware of our little process together, but, for me, he was my teacher, showing me how to see the Christ light within him. I got to experience how to see the Christ within everyone if I can remember and choose to see the love.

Once again, I encourage you to remember your passion.

Peace, Maren Nelson

Break Through the Delusion of Separation

Albert Einstein said:

Prison“A human being is part of a whole, called by us the ‘Universe,’ a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest – a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”

It’s wonderful and amazing to me the Mr. Einstein understood so deeply the interconnectedness of All That Is and our place in it. He clearly lays out the problem of man’s belief in separation. He explains how it limits us, and explains how to break out of this mass belief system we’ve created and many people cling to as the Ultimate Reality.

It is through our heart center, the bridge between heaven and earth, where we find our connection with All That Is and the compassion that comes with that deep heart connection.

The trick is for us to create the time and space in our lives so that we can have these experiences of interconnectedness. We must make it a priority on a daily basis to give ourselves this. The more frequently we can allow ourselves at least moments of this expansive feeling, the stronger it will become in us and will eventually become a part of us.

The other great thing about giving yourself these moments every day of feeling compassion and interconnectedness with everything is that in that space, you will remember who you really are…Love.

Remember your passion!

Blessings, Maren Nelson

Gratitude & Forgiveness

maren nelsonAs the New Year begins, this is a great time to reflect on those things we can feel grateful for. It’s easy to think of those things, people, and experiences that have brought us joy. Perhaps, we got the new car or new job we wanted. Maybe we have attracted in an amazing new friendship or intimate relationship that brings more fulfillment into our lives.

But what about those experiences we have gone through with people that feel disappointing or painful? Maybe we’ve felt slighted or attacked, misunderstood, or not seen for who we really are, or really heard. We may have held onto negative feelings for days, years or even our entire lives. How would it change our lives to finally feel real gratitude for those things?

There is a different way of perceiving these experiences, even the things that we find most difficult to let go of and forgive.

I was talking with a girlfriend, who is also a healer, recently about an experience I had a few years ago that I still felt hurt about. I have done a lot of prayer and emotional work around it and really wanted to let those negative feelings go. I also told her about a long-standing pattern of unconsciously attracting people in who also unconsciously played the perfect role to help me learn to stand up for myself and to be heard. It was a boundary issue for me.

I had done literally years of work on myself to learn to stand my ground and not give my power away by going along with something I didn’t want or believe. (I had believed while growing up that I had to give my power away sometimes to be loved or to feel safe.)

Over the years, I’d gone through different phases of healing around this issue. Many years ago, one phase was to use anger to defend or protect myself. Of course, the Universe sent me the perfect people to push my buttons so that I would have the opportunity to grow and heal this issue.

My experience of what happened went like this: one day, a person I deeply cared about angrily confronted me about a conflicting belief we had and demanded that I should believe what he believed. He was pounding the table saying, “I know this is true! I know this is true!”

Although I felt some anxiety about this friend’s aggressiveness toward me in that moment, I was able to respond simply with: “Good! I’m really happy for you!” And I really meant it. My friend stammered and sputtered and obviously, didn’t know how to respond. The subject was dropped.

Before this confrontation, my fear had been that if I found myself in a situation like this one that I would once again feel victimized or defensive that I was being forced into doing or believing something I didn’t want. However, in that moment, I was able to truly come from love and support for him and myself, and my response wasn’t premeditated. This experience showed me how deeply I had learned my lesson!

While sharing with my girlfriend, it was clear to me that I could more consciously choose to respond this way in the future if I needed to with others. Most importantly, was my shift in perception to how perfect the experience had been and how it had played out. I felt something relax and let go in my solar plexus, my power center.

I saw that now I have the ability to stay in a place of love even when feeling threatened. I was able to see how far I’d come in healing this issue for myself. I realized what a huge gift this was and felt a profound sense of gratitude wash over me.

The days since I told my friend about this and had these realizations, I kept feeling such a sense of gratitude and love as those insights continued spilling into other areas of my life.

My wish is that sharing this story can help you see how this can be possible for you too. It is my passion to share information that can help to lift others. And as always, I encourage you to remember your passion.

Peace, Maren Nelson