Who’s the Prisoner & Who’s the Warden?

I’ll never forget when I first heard this question, “Who’s the prisoner and who’s the warden?” and the epiphany I experienced because of it.

It was 1988, and I was reading A Course in Miracles for the first time. I was working to build my Connected Breathing practice and doing a lot of Breath sessions myself.

Many times during my sessions, profound insights would flood into my mind. The next day, I would read out of the Course the exact information I had just received. The information in the Course was validating my sessions and my sessions were validating the Course.

During one of these breath sessions, it came to me that when we aren’t willing to forgive someone for something, it’s like we set ourselves up as the warden. We use guilt to keep them the prisoner of whatever wrong we think they have done.

We may even say the words, “I forgive you,” but in our hearts, we piously perceive them as unworthy of our forgiveness. We see ourselves as better than them because we have supposedly forgiven them. This is not true forgiveness.

True forgiveness is letting go of the belief that what this person has done is related to who they are. Who and what they are cannot be touched, or changed or affected in any way. The essence of who they are will forever and always be Love…and so are we.

When we choose to hold onto our judgments and anger and won’t forgive, we actually keep ourselves prisoner, locked in our own misperception. You can choose peace and freedom now.

Ask Spirit, God, whatever you choose to call it, to help you to see things differently. I promise you, He (She) will.

And I encourage you to always remember your passion.

Best, Maren Nelson