I was going to write more about PTSD this month, but instead I want to share with you a previous post that feels right to share now.
I’ve been reading in A Course In Miracles about how our grievances hide God’s Light and Love from us. Grievances are like dark clouds that block the sun. The sun is still there, however, our focus is on the clouds and not the light.
In reality, grievances have no real substance or power except for the power we give them. That power is our love which is our direct link to God.
Whether we choose to love our grievances (or anything) and therefore, make them real, is up to us. We can choose to direct that focus of love to see the Light within all people and all situations because it is always there.
Within the past couple of weeks I’ve had the opportunity to see this play out for me and a good friend of mine. My friend, whom I’ll call Manny, had just gotten off the phone with his girlfriend. They’d been having one of their usual, nasty arguments. I was the first woman to cross his path afterwards, and it wasn’t long before he turned that anger on me.
It wasn’t what he said as much as how he said it with that cruel intonation and aggressive energy that comes with wanting to pick a fight.
After a couple of his verbal jabs from Manny, I finally said flatly, “I’d be alright if you’d stop snapping at me.” The fight was on. He tried to deny that he’d snapped at me so I asked another person in the room if they heard it, which they had. I said to him, “Manny, this isn’t about me. It’s about your girlfriend. Go take it out on her. That’s who you’re mad at,” and I walked away. (I didn’t really want him to take it out on his girlfriend.)
I really don’t think he realized what he was doing. He was in that zone, an altered, zombie-like state, of anger and needing to be right and couldn’t see past it to what he was doing.
Over the next couple of hours, Manny would periodically throw another one of these jabs out seeing if I’d take the bait. Finally, I said to him (trying to keep as much emotion out of the statement as possible), “I know this isn’t about me, but it is not fun being on the receiving end of this.”
Manny sat down in front of me, everything in his body language telling me he was going to tell me all the reasons he was right and I was wrong. He was going to dump his stuff on me. I took one look and said, “I am not going there with you!” and walked away.
Manny and I were still upset with each other when I left, but over the next week I read in the Course about letting go of grievances:
”The light has come. I have forgiven the world.”…“I am entitled to miracles.”…“I will not trade miracles for grievances. I want only what belongs to me. God has established miracles as my right.”…“Let me replace all grievances.”
After a couple of days Manny apologized, but I could still feel his anger toward me. I kept getting intuitively to let this play out to the end.
The next day while driving in the car, I prayed over and over to God to remove the anger from me and to help me see Manny and the situation differently. Within minutes I got a picture in my mind of me hugging Manny and telling him I love him.
Shortly after my prayers, it happened just like I saw in my mind. Manny melted with my hug. I could feel his heart start to open.
We sat down, and I touched his shoulder gently and said, “I’m not here because I have to be. I’m here because I want to b. I mean that as a compliment…This whole thing with you made me feel very sad.” He relaxed even more and said, “Me too.”
Instead of holding onto my resentment, I was really able to see the light in my friend. I was truly guided through an experience that could have turned ugly, but instead, it became a miracle for us both.
I’m not sure the full extent Manny was aware of our little process together, but, for me, he was my teacher, showing me how to see the Christ light within him. I got to experience how to see the Christ within everyone if I can remember and choose to see the love.
Once again, I encourage you to remember your passion.
Peace, Maren Nelson
