Releasing the Illusion of Shame

A couple of months ago, I put up a post about how the ego is based on the Belief in Separation.

A Course In Miracles talks about the deep sense of shame and guilt that everyone feels at their core. This guilt comes from the belief that we have separated ourselves from God, each other and all that is. We believe we have placed our will before God’s will who knows that each of us is pure and innocent and without sin.

The ego would try to tell us that we are alone and on our own. The world the ego would try to show us is based on fear. We even try to keep each other in this illusion of betrayal, self-doubt, lack of trust and lack of love.

We are not aware of the huge burden we put on ourselves while trying to keep this lie in place. It takes a lot of energy and focus to continue to live in a world of fear. It drains our life-force.

Because we believe the worst of ourselves, we act out of our misperceptions; again an insane attempt to try to make them real.

We project onto others our own deepest fears about ourselves, deepening the sense in separation at every turn. We’ve forgotten who we are.

Let’s say a friend, or loved one, or even someone you barely know tries to project onto you their own feelings of guilt and shame.

They may truly believe that they are right, and you are wrong.

They may even become aggressive in their attempt to try to get you to see things their way.

They may sit there like God, passing judgment. They accuse and they sentence you to be punished for your imagined sins. Ultimately, the only punishment that will ever appease this person is death.

This may sound extreme except this is exactly what the ego tells us every day.

If you choose to you could believe this person and use this experience to add to the belief that you are bad and deserve to be punished. You could continue to act out from this misperception, thereby increasing your belief in separation.

If your try to handle this on your own, the world does seem to be a lonely, violent, and unforgiving place.

Or, you could remember: NONE OF THIS IS TRUE!!!

It is possible to see the world, yourself, and even this person differently. It’s as simple as a shift in perception.

You were never meant to do it on your own!

God doesn’t even recognize the separation or the ego. He knows that we are always and forever One.

God knows that nothing of this world will ever change the fact that you are pure and worthy and loved.

Love waits on welcome. And with your welcome, it will flood you with profound freedom and joy when you simply lay your burden down, and remember you are Love.

Now that you are free from the shackles of shame and guilt, you can rechannel that life-force energy to create a world that you want, a world filled with Love.

You are a magician with the freedom and clarity to express and create your purpose and your passion.


Maren Nelson

Do You Use Judgments to Control Other People?

I want to talk about something that I feel very strongly about. Our judgments about other people (and ourselves) can affect their ability to correct their misperceptions about themselves. If they can’t shift their misperceptions, they can’t shift their behaviors and heal.

It’s important to separate the “sin” from the “sinner”. This is the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt tells us, “You did a bad thing”. Shame tells us, “You are bad”.

Do you know that the word “sin” is actually an old archery term that means to miss the mark? If you make a mis-take, you get to do it over until you get it right.

Yet, most of us have been taught that a sin should be judged and punished. This belief may be so strong that we believe in our hearts a sin is punishable by banishment and/or death.

Now, I know there is a catch with this…Sometimes some people are so programmed and entranced with their misperceptions that they will do almost anything to hold onto them even if they are unhappy, and they make the people around them unhappy as well.

To shift these beliefs can actually feel terrifying because this is what they know. At an unconscious level they think, “If I’m not this, who am I?” They have forgotten what they are is Love.

What could happen to the world if instead of severe punishment, we offered love? What if we were to come up with better ways of helping one another heal our minds and hearts?

Of course, there are those people who have deep psychological issues and would need more help. There are those who are locked so deeply into their misperceptions they are violent and abusive. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t take care of yourself when you’re around these people. I’m just saying I think there is a better way we can be in the world sharing this journey together.

I hope as I pass this information on and with the questions I’ve raised we can begin to see and experience each other and ourselves with more love and compassion. And as always, remember your passion.

Best, Maren Nelson

The Belief In Separation

I want to share with you something that I think will make a few of your heads spin, but I’ll go ahead anyway.

Everything in this world tells us that we are separated from each other. Even (or I should say, especially) our bodies seem to prove that this is true. We see someone over there, we feel other people and things and our bodies tell us we are separate.

The ego is based on the belief in separation…separation from others, the world, God, and our true Selves. This belief is literally insane. If we were separate from all that is, we wouldn’t exist.

The ego tells us we must defend the body from attack. We believe we must attack others to defend ourselves, and they attack back. We see fear and suffering all around and we believe this is how the world just is. We do not realize this is the world we have created through our egos.

However, there is another way of seeing things. It is through the recognition of what we really are which is Love. The way to create this shift in perception is by retraining of the mind.

As long as we experience ourselves in this world, we will have an ego. However, as we heal our minds of the belief in separation, we don’t allow the ego to run the show. We put Love back into the driver’s seat. We allow simple acts of kindness to the world and to ourselves to guide us.

We are not alone in this process of healing the mind. We have assistance and guidance available to us who can help us in every moment of every day. All we need to do is remember to ask for help with everything.

I choose to call this guidance God which, to me, is synonymous with Love. You can choose whatever higher power you want that works for you. Or…you don’t have to believe any of this and can choose to believe whatever you want.

I believe the only choice we have is how long we choose to stay in fear and suffering. Why wait? You can choose love over fear now. And, of course, always remember your passion.

Maren Nelson

Best Cold Remedy: The Breath

Cold-Woman-ManIt is cold and flu season, and many people are looking for relief from it. Many of us who get sick might end up taking different kinds of medications including cough syrups, over the counter drugs, antibiotics, and perhaps even steroids, and other prescription drugs.

We lose 70% of the toxins in our body through the breath. We lose, approximately, 10% of the toxins when we go to the bathroom, and the rest is through our skin. By accelerating our breath into a deep, rhythmic pattern as we do in a Breathwork session or in yoga, we are taking in “prana” which is life-force-energy and carries a very high, fine-tuned vibration. Prana is a Sanskrit term which means the essence of life. Chi-prana is the breath of life.

I do not advise that you do the Breathwork on yourself until you’ve done a minimum of at least 12 sessions or until you’ve been properly trained. If you don’t know what you’re doing, the process can feel very intense and even a little scary. If you don’t clear the energy completely, the energy can get stuck, and you could end up taking it out on the people around you; usually the people that you’re closest to. It’s best to do the Breathwork with a certified practitioner who knows what they’re doing to make sure that you clear the energy completely.

Typically, in a breath session as a client goes into the deep, rhythmic breathing pattern, they begin to release toxins caused from drugs, anesthesia, antibiotics, Novocain, antidepressants, alcohol, recreational drugs, etc. I call it all “drug energy” as it all comes off the same. You can feel the heavy, dense energy come off you as a tingling that usually begins in your hands and feet and around your head.

As you keep breathing, this tingling may spread throughout your entire body. The tingling may become so intense, it feels like a heavy, dense vibration. This heavy vibration is the “drug energy” releasing.

As an infant I had pneumonia twice, and I remember constantly being sick as a child with terrible colds. I truly believe the Breathwork has been my saving grace to help me through the years to clear the toxins caused from medications and sickness itself.

I came down with a horrible cold a couple of weeks ago. I’d gone out to LA to work with clients, and it came on really fast and hard. Most of all the brain fog made it difficult to think clearly.

A few days after I got home, I went to Urgent Care, and it had turned into acute bronchitis. They treated me for pneumonia with strong antibiotics, steroids, and codeine cough syrup. Tuesday afternoon my lungs opened up so that I could start breathing better. Wednesday morning I got in and did a breath session on myself for three and a half hours of hard breathing.

Normally, in a session for myself or my clients, the intense breathing goes for about 45 minutes to an hour. The second part of a session, I include a meditation. In the sessions I did on myself in the past couple of weeks, I didn’t include the meditation, but went strictly for the breath to clear the cold.

I did another session Thursday morning for two and a half hours hard breathing, took a break on Friday, did another three hours on Saturday, and two hours on Sunday. I took a break on Monday and Tuesday and did another two hours Wednesday morning. Not only was I releasing the toxins and cold, I got some really great ideas for my business and the book I’m working on now.

Typically, people keep releasing toxins (and sometimes, emotions) for a day or two after a breath session. Each day I did a session on myself, I could feel the “drug energy” coming off of me for hours after I finished.

I’m feeling almost completely better, but I’ll get in a do a couple of more sessions on myself this week to clear the last of the cold and drug energy. I thank God for this tool to help myself get opened up and back on track.

As we move into this New Year, I encourage you to remember and live your passion.

Maren Nelson

2016: A Year of Completions

New Pic 1 6-29-16As I look back over this year, 2016, I can see that it truly has been a year of completions for me. Funny thing, if you know anything about Numerology, 2016 adds up to a nine. The number nine is the number for completions. The new year, 2017, adds up to a 10 or one; one being new beginnings.

This past year, I’ve been following my guidance to clean up old relationships that I found draining and unfulfilling; anything that was less than loving. With some of them, I delivered communications that needed to be delivered so that we can have loving relationships. There were a few that I let go of completely.

At the first part of September, during the time I was working with my dear friend, Ryan, to resolve computer problems on account of ransomware, I went through all my business and personal things again and got rid of about eight boxes of items I didn’t need anymore. I usually do this about once a year or so, and it was time.

I cleaned out my music and got rid of old CD’s that I didn’t listen to or were damaged. I even cleaned out my database and deleted about 1000 contacts, mostly contacts that I didn’t have email addresses for. After 29 years of doing the Breathwork, some of the information wasn’t valid anymore.

Almost two years ago, I filed a sexual harassment report with the EEOC on a company, and that’s coming to completion. For me, that was a huge statement that I won’t allow anyone to treat me with anything less than the love and respect that everyone deserves. I now allow only loving, supportive, creative, and fun relationships in my life.

I’ve been consciously working on shifting my thinking too. Over the past month, my Guides have been telling me too stop talking about anyone or any situation from my past that brings me down or that I was once upset about. I’ve ended those relationships and done the emotional/spiritual work I needed to find forgiveness. By continuing to talk about those things, I was keeping them alive and keeping myself in a place of lack.

As I look to the New Year, I’m consciously working on staying in the present moment and not getting caught up with things that don’t exist for me anymore. I’ve opened up a huge space in my life.

Nature abhors a vacuum, and if I’m not clear about what I choose to fill that space up with, the Universe will fill it up with something. So, I’ve been having fun setting the energy for what I want that to be and putting the energy into motion.

I’m grateful that my journey has brought me to this pivotal point, and I’m excited to see how 2017 unfolds. I look forward to sharing this adventure with you, and I encourage all of you to remember and live your passion.

Maren Nelson

Another Way to be Grateful

New Pic 1 6-29-16As Thanksgiving rolls around, it’s time to reflect on those things we can feel grateful for. It’s easy to think of those things, people, and experiences that have brought us joy. Perhaps, we got the new car or new job we wanted. Maybe we have attracted in an amazing new friendship or intimate relationship that brings more fulfillment into our lives.

But what about those experiences we have gone through with people that feel disappointing or painful? Maybe we’ve felt slighted or attacked, misunderstood, or not seen for who we really are, or really heard. We may have held onto negative feelings for days, years or even our entire lives. How would it change our lives to finally feel real gratitude for those things?

There is a different way of perceiving these experiences, even the things that we find most difficult to let go of and forgive.

I was talking with a girlfriend, who is also a healer, recently about an experience I had a few years ago that I still felt hurt about. I have done a lot of prayer and emotional work around it and really wanted to let those negative feelings go. I also told her about a long-standing pattern of unconsciously attracting people in who also unconsciously played the perfect role to help me learn to stand up for myself and to be heard. It was a boundary issue for me.

I had done literally years of work on myself to learn to stand my ground and not give my power away by going along with something I didn’t want or believe. (I had believed while growing up that I had to give my power away sometimes to be loved or to feel safe.)

Over the years, I’d gone through different phases of healing around this issue. Many years ago, one phase was to use anger to defend or protect myself. Of course, the Universe sent me the perfect people to push my buttons so that I would have the opportunity to grow and heal this issue.

My experience of what happened went like this: one day, a person I deeply cared about angrily confronted me about a conflicting belief we had and demanded that I should believe what he believed. He was pounding the table saying, “I know this is true! I know this is true!”

Although I felt some anxiety about this friend’s aggressiveness toward me in that moment, I was able to respond simply with: “Good! I’m really happy for you!” And I really meant it. My friend stammered and sputtered and obviously, didn’t know how to respond. The subject was dropped.

Before this confrontation, my fear had been that if I found myself in a situation like this one that I would once again feel victimized or defensive that I was being forced into doing or believing something I didn’t want. However, in that moment, I was able to truly come from love and support for him and myself, and my response wasn’t premeditated. This experience showed me how deeply I had learned my lesson!

While sharing with my girlfriend, it was clear to me that I could more consciously choose to respond this way in the future if I needed to with others. Most importantly, was my shift in perception to how perfect the experience had been and how it had played out. I felt something relax and let go in my solar plexus, my power center.

I saw that now I have the ability to stay in a place of love even when feeling threatened. I was able to see how far I’d come in healing this issue for myself. I realized what a huge gift this was and felt a profound sense of gratitude wash over me.

The days since I told my friend about this and had these realizations, I kept feeling such a sense of gratitude and love as those insights continued spilling into other areas of my life.

My wish is that sharing this story can help you see how this can be possible for you too. It is my passion to share information that can help to lift others. And as always, I encourage you to remember your passion.

With love and gratitude, Maren

Who’s the Prisoner and Who’s the Warden?

BRIEF WARNING: Sorry I missed you last month. I had some pretty intense computer problems. I had my computer hacked and my files encrypted. The thieves try to ransom your files back to you, but there’s only a 50/50 chance that, even if you pay, they’ll even give you your files back. They hit individuals and businesses…anyone.

If your screen starts flashing and then a big screen comes up that says your files have been encrypted and you need to go to a special website to download Tor, shut your computer off immediately. The encryption will continue to spread the longer you leave your computer on.

You’ll need to take it to a computer person to see if they can salvage your files. Also, just because the criminals did it to you once doesn’t mean they won’t do it again. All I can say is back everything frequently.

Police and the FBI can’t figure out how to stop it yet, and it’s been going on for a while. The thieves use Bitcoin (international currency) so the money can’t be traced. I hope this information will help you and those you know how to avoid a major fiasco like I just went through.


I’ll never forget when I first heard this question, “Who’s the prisoner and who’s the warden?” and the epiphany I experienced because of it.

It was 1988, and I was reading A Course in Miracles for the first time. I was working to build my Connected Breathing practice and doing a lot of Breath sessions myself.

Many times during my sessions, profound insights would flood into my mind. The next day, I would read out of the Course the exact information I had just received. The information in the Course was validating my sessions and my sessions were validating the Course.

During one of these breath sessions, it came to me that when we aren’t willing to forgive someone for something, it’s like we set ourselves up as the warden. We use guilt to keep them the prisoner of whatever wrong we think they have done.

We may even say the words, “I forgive you,” but in our hearts, we piously perceive them as unworthy of our forgiveness. We see ourselves as better than them because we have supposedly forgiven them. This is not true forgiveness.

True forgiveness is letting go of the belief that what this person has done is related to who they are. Who and what they are cannot be touched, or changed or affected in any way. The essence of who they are will forever and always be Love…and so are we.

When we choose to hold onto our judgments and anger and won’t forgive, we actually keep ourselves prisoner, locked in our own misperception. You can choose peace and freedom now.

Ask God, your Higher Power, your Spirit Guides, whatever you choose to call upon, to help you to see things differently. I promise you, He (She) will.

I encourage you to always remember your passion. Maren Nelson




Miracles Vs. Grievances

Sun-shining-cloudsI was going to write more about PTSD this month, but instead I want to share with you a previous post that feels right to share now.

I’ve been reading in A Course In Miracles about how our grievances hide God’s Light and Love from us. Grievances are like dark clouds that block the sun. The sun is still there, however, our focus is on the clouds and not the light.

In reality, grievances have no real substance or power except for the power we give them. That power is our love which is our direct link to God.

Whether we choose to love our grievances (or anything) and therefore, make them real, is up to us. We can choose to direct that focus of love to see the Light within all people and all situations because it is always there.

Within the past couple of weeks I’ve had the opportunity to see this play out for me and a good friend of mine. My friend, whom I’ll call Manny, had just gotten off the phone with his girlfriend. They’d been having one of their usual, nasty arguments. I was the first woman to cross his path afterwards, and it wasn’t long before he turned that anger on me.

It wasn’t what he said as much as how he said it with that cruel intonation and aggressive energy that comes with wanting to pick a fight.

After a couple of his verbal jabs from Manny, I finally said flatly, “I’d be alright if you’d stop snapping at me.” The fight was on. He tried to deny that he’d snapped at me so I asked another person in the room if they heard it, which they had. I said to him, “Manny, this isn’t about me. It’s about your girlfriend. Go take it out on her. That’s who you’re mad at,” and I walked away. (I didn’t really want him to take it out on his girlfriend.)

I really don’t think he realized what he was doing. He was in that zone, an altered, zombie-like state, of anger and needing to be right and couldn’t see past it to what he was doing.

Over the next couple of hours, Manny would periodically throw another one of these jabs out seeing if I’d take the bait. Finally, I said to him (trying to keep as much emotion out of the statement as possible), “I know this isn’t about me, but it is not fun being on the receiving end of this.”

Manny sat down in front of me, everything in his body language telling me he was going to tell me all the reasons he was right and I was wrong. He was going to dump his stuff on me. I took one look and said, “I am not going there with you!” and walked away.

Manny and I were still upset with each other when I left, but over the next week I read in the Course about letting go of grievances:

”The light has come. I have forgiven the world.”…“I am entitled to miracles.”…“I will not trade miracles for grievances. I want only what belongs to me. God has established miracles as my right.”…“Let me replace all grievances.”

After a couple of days Manny apologized, but I could still feel his anger toward me. I kept getting intuitively to let this play out to the end.

The next day while driving in the car, I prayed over and over to God to remove the anger from me and to help me see Manny and the situation differently. Within minutes I got a picture in my mind of me hugging Manny and telling him I love him.

Shortly after my prayers, it happened just like I saw in my mind. Manny melted with my hug. I could feel his heart start to open.

We sat down, and I touched his shoulder gently and said, “I’m not here because I have to be. I’m here because I want to b. I mean that as a compliment…This whole thing with you made me feel very sad.” He relaxed even more and said, “Me too.”

Instead of holding onto my resentment, I was really able to see the light in my friend. I was truly guided through an experience that could have turned ugly, but instead, it became a miracle for us both.

I’m not sure the full extent Manny was aware of our little process together, but, for me, he was my teacher, showing me how to see the Christ light within him. I got to experience how to see the Christ within everyone if I can remember and choose to see the love.

Once again, I encourage you to remember your passion.

Peace, Maren Nelson

Healing PTSD and Overcoming Addiction

New Pic 2 6-29-16I want to share something that’s very personal to me. I want to preface it with the fact that what I’m sharing doesn’t have any blame attached to it for me. I forgave a long time ago.

What I’m sharing is about the beliefs, behaviors, and the process I’ve been working through to heal from early developmental experiences for me. My desire as I share this is to give people hope.

While on the treadmill at the gym a couple of weeks ago, I read an article in “Women’s Health” about mental disorders in women and the stigma that’s been attached to it. They say 70% of women suffer from some kind of mental disorder and 60% of everyone with it haven’t received treatment in the past year. The high cost of treatment is a big detriment for many people to get the help they need.

The article talked about how little is known about mental disorders by the general public. Because they don’t know, people who suffer from one kind or another are shamed, shunned, and ridiculed for their behavior. “Just get over it,” or “What’s wrong with you?” or “Let me tell you how to fix it…” A mental disorder isn’t something you can just “get over.” That’s why they call it a disorder.

I’ve dealt, with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder my whole life. I don’t remember a time in my life that I didn’t feel an underlying fear (and even unconscious rage) that someone was going to try to kill me. It’s not that I haven’t experienced joy, love and the full range of emotions, because I have.

The way the PTSD affected me is that sometimes when someone would come at me with aggressive, abusive, and angry energy, I would feel threatened, and I would shut down. Part of my consciousness would leave my body in attempt to get away from whatever I perceived as the threat. I was no longer in present time.

Often my own unconscious anger and rage would cause me to shut down the moment the incident would occur. What happens for me is that many of my chakras shut down. I know that when my heart shuts down, my business shuts down. I’m sure you can imagine how this has affected my ability to produce and to let myself have love and abundance.

The feelings were so intense and so terrifying, I would do almost anything to get away from them. For a many years, I self-medicated. I would rather deal with the shame of addiction, especially alcohol, than face the terror of what felt life-threatening. I thank God, literally, I’ve been able to let that go quite a while ago.

I didn’t understand what was wrong with me throughout my life. I continually attracted in people, especially in intimate relationships, who would try to control or outright abuse me because that was what I was familiar with. They were perfect teachers to help me to set better boundaries and to speak up for myself and what I know is right for me. None of this was fun, but I’ve definitely learned a lot, especially as a healer.

The trauma started at a precognitive, developmental stage for me. It was all feelings. For most of my life, this made it impossible for me to put into words what was happening for me. I didn’t understand what was going on, and I couldn’t explain it to people.

Perhaps you can imagine or know the frustration and anger this elicited from people who saw this with me, not that I blame them. They couldn’t help me, and their anger just shut me down more. I was doing the same thing to myself.

For most of my life, this was happening at an unconscious level. Part of my consciousness would freeze if someone came at me with what I unconsciously perceived as a threat.

In that moment, I was right back in the emotional state I was in with the original threat which for me was infantile. Sometimes, it would take months before I’d realize what had happened, and it would feel useless to try to do anything about it at that point.

Since this would happen most often with those people closest to me, including family and friends, I would distance those I loved most. I’ve known all along that what I needed most was love. I also completely understand why people judged me. I judged myself. It was a vicious circle.

I was especially bad at defending myself in those periods. So, often people would think the worst or me, and I couldn’t tell them what they were saying wasn’t even true or do anything to stop it. All of this reinforced my own self-hatred.

Gradually, over time, I’ve been able to understand what’s happening, and I have better coping mechanisms. The most significant thing I’ve done is to clear anyone out of my space that I was allowing to disrespect me in any way or act with anything but kindness. I choose only love in my life.

I’ve been working for several years to learn to love myself. I used to feel that I had a major split with the good side of me and the bad side, and that the two would never meet. With the assistance of my Spirit Guides, I’ve been working to embrace both sides of myself, and to clearly choose what I want for myself, not what others think I need.

I thank God that somehow I’ve never lost my love for people. I’m definitely more cautious about who I let into my life, with circles of loved ones going out, almost like ripples, with me at the center. As each circle gets closer, they consist of the people I trust more and more, and who accept me just as I am. They recognize the love and light that I am.

Through their love, and by simply holding the space for me (BTW: that’s all I need), they are helping me return to my original state which is love. They help me remember who I really am and not what my ego would tell me.

Recently, a friend shared with me a section in “Hands of Light,” by Barbara Brennan that I had read over 20 years ago. She talks about different character structures and some of their typical beliefs and behaviors. One of them describes perfectly what happens for me. Just reviewing the information again after all these years, reinforced the healing and insights I’ve been getting over the last several years with my Guides.

This disorder has caused me to believe it’s not safe for me to fully shine. The fear of being fully seen and the belief it’s not safe to be seen has caused me to sabotage a lot of love and abundance in my life. As this heals, I know that aspects of myself and powerful creative gifts that were buried will reawaken so that I can share them with the world.

Somehow, through all this, I’ve been able to accomplish a lot and to share much of my love and gifts with others through my work as a healer and my writing. I know it’s because what I have to share makes a difference for many people to better their lives. Through God’s love, I feel it’s a miracle I’m alive today and going strong.

I don’t know where this process that my Guides are taking me through is going to lead. I feel like their guiding me to a life even beyond my wildest dreams. I trust them more than ever and have been letting them and God take the lead more so than ever before in my life. It’s an exhilarating ride.

I wanted to share this with you all as there may be some of you who experience something similar going on for you and don’t know what’s going on or what to do. My desire is to give you hope and to let you know that you’re not alone. Most of all, I want you to know that you can heal even devastating disorders like the one I’ve experienced.

I must say that because of having to learn to heal from my own issues, it’s all helped me to be the healer I am today. I can go to some really dark places with people, and I know it’s not who they are. I know that they can heal if they are willing to do whatever it takes.

This has been a process it’s taken me up until now to really be able to talk about. For those people this has affected negatively, I am truly, deeply sorry. I never meant to hurt anyone. I am healing, and I am incredibly grateful.

I share this with you all now as this is where my passion for life and love has brought me. I encourage you to remember and live your passion.

Maren Nelson

URGENT!! Message to Men: How to Approach a Woman ~By a Woman

couple-flirtingMany years ago, right after I had that Kundalini Awakening, I had the experience of what an aspect of healthy masculine energy can feel like.

Many mornings at the gym, I would see this guy, who I thought was gorgeous. However, I was at a place in my life that I didn’t want to let any more men into my life, even as friends, and definitely not a relationship.

I was working on self-love and working to clear out old limiting beliefs I had held about myself, men, and my relationships to them. Because of these beliefs, I had attracted to myself men who acted out exactly what I thought I deserved. Now, I know I deserve much, much more.

When I was younger, I used to have regular male friendships in my life and was much more open to letting them in. From the beginning, I would make it very clear that we were only friends and that wouldn’t change.

Every single time, within about six months, each of them would come forward to say they wanted to take the friendship deeper. Each time, I would get upset about it because I had made myself clear from the beginning that I didn’t want that with them. I felt like I wasn’t being heard.

Finally, I decided not to allow male friendships into my life unless they passed a rigorous test. If a guy did try to come in, I’d put them through the ringer, letting them know, they either had better respect my boundaries, or I’d end the friendship. I don’t let most of them in anymore.

I had experienced throughout my years of meeting men and dating that those that I did date, and the even fewer that I actually got involved with, were never really direct about what they wanted with me when we first started the relationship, or even once we were involved.

If a relationship developed, it seemed we somehow fell into it. We would date for a while, and, then, without much communication, we found ourselves in a relationship. I wouldn’t say it was very conscious for either of us.

So, I met this guy, and we started out just talking. It was obvious to both of us that we were attracted to each other. I was still adamant about not letting a guy into my life.

One day, about six months after we started this little, flirty friendship, he came to me and quietly told me exactly how he felt about me and what he wanted. Then, he simply stepped back and let me choose. He was still friendly, but he didn’t push it.

OMG, I had never had a guy be so direct with me. He was direct, but he let me choose. It felt honoring. Most of what I had experienced with men had felt manipulative, and that had been all I knew up until this experience. This guy was present and confident enough in himself as a man, he could do that.

Needless to say, the whole thing really spun my head around. If that didn’t happen, I wouldn’t have gotten involved with him, and of course the fact there was already an attraction.

I prayed about it for two weeks before I gave him an answer. The answer to my prayer came that as long as I stayed focused on my own healing, I’d get more out of our experience than I could ever imagine. I did too. The powerful thing is that now that I’ve had that experience, I don’t want anything less.

I plan to write more of these insights about male/female energy/relationships. I hope the information is helpful to both men and women.

As always I encourage you to remember and live your passion.

Maren Nelson