Emotional Healing, Stage Three: Bargaining

You know you are in the bargaining phase of emotional healing if you are trying to negotiate things to try to make things right. You’re making deals in an effort to avoid the inevitable.

If you are bargaining, it’s a sign of progress.

You are moving toward acceptance of yourself, of others, and of life itself. You’re doing a great job!

Attempts to bargain indicate you still believe something can or should be done to change things, so they can be the way you think they ought to be.

You may bargain with God, or your Higher Power.

You may bargain at the end of a relationship.

You may try telling your partner and yourself, “I’ll change if you give me what I want.”

Bargaining is a normal phase of your healing process. In time, you will be able to release this phase to move to sadness and then, full acceptance of yourself, of your power, and of Life Itself.

Live your passion!

 

Maren Nelson

Emotional Healing, Stage Two: Anger

Here are two different ways anger may be expressed:

  • You use anger to control other people by making them feel guilty. You may have been taught by others, “To get what you want, you need to manipulate other people.” You use anger to control other people.

Anger you have denied or hidden shows up as passive aggression, meaning you won’t verbally say what you want or feel. Instead, you expect others to know. When they don’t, you withdraw your love in some way. When hidden anger has you in its grip, you may agree to do something you never intend to follow through on; or you go along with it and punish the other person for “making” you do it.

  • You use anger as a motivator. You utilize the fiery energy of anger to propel you forward. You use it to make the changes you need to that, otherwise, you might not have the will or energy to accomplish.

Two quick tips to release anger in a healthy way:

  1. Yell into a pillow and pound the bed or couch.
  2. Write a letter to the person you are angry with, fully expressing your feelings, both positive and negative. NEVER SEND THIS LETTER!!!

The more you heal your anger, the more frequently peace will come, and the longer it will stay.

Handling your anger in a healthy way can transform your relationships, both personal and professional.

Live with passion!

 

Maren Nelson

Stage One: Denial

Denial stems from fear. It is an attempt to hold situations, other people and ourselves in the status quo. When we refuse to accept things as they truly are, it hinders us from making the changes necessary to move forward and grow. We stagnate in a swamp of helpless dissatisfaction.

Denial is like a doughnut. If you hold the doughnut close to your eye, you see through the hole, but you don’t see the doughnut. You could even tell yourself, “There is no doughnut here. I can see just fine.”

One day, someone comes up to you, perhaps a good friend, and tells you, “You have a doughnut on your eye!” You reply, “No, I don’t have a doughnut on my eye. What are you talking about?”

Over time, other people tell you that you have a doughnut on your eye, but you still can’t see it.

One day, you finally realize you do indeed have a doughnut on your eye – and how silly you look with the darned thing.

You decide to do whatever it takes to correct it and remove it. That’s your cue to break out of your outdated beliefs and perceptions – and embrace change.

Change is the only constant you can rely on. Embrace it with courage and determination; and watch as it nourishes and replenishes your mind and your life.

Live your passion!

Maren Nelson

Keep It Light

In Chapter 5 of Ride the Emotional Wave, you will learn that:

You are never alone

You are never alone on this journey toward emotional mastery.

When you truly commit to healing your mind and emotions, you will have legions of angels, Spirit Guides, and Teachers assisting you. (I explain how to access and work with your Guides and Teachers in REW.)

Remember to ask your angels for help with everything! That is why they are here – to assist you along the way as you walk your life path. You just need to remember to ask them for help.

Remember to laugh

Another crucial key to your healing is to remember to laugh. Don’t take yourself, other people, your life or even this information too seriously. Laughter carries a very high vibration of life-force energy that can be used for healing.

As you release the crushing load of negativity generated by your ego, your energy will literally lighten up. You will have access to more life-force energy and the radiation from that light will help others remember their light too.

Enjoy the journey and your reawakening in spirit. And most of all, live your passion.

 

Maren Nelson

*To learn more about how to help yourself and those you love emotionally, check out “Ride the Emotional Wave: How to Create Wealth, Health & Love Through Emotional Mastery.”

Also, check out my Services on how I can assist you personally on your journey to emotional mastery.

Awareness Is Half the Battle

Perhaps you have begun to take responsibility for your emotions. You see that it isn’t the world “out there” that’s causing conflict or lack in your life. You can see there’s something going on within you that needs to be corrected – but what? And how can it be changed?

I tell my clients, “Awareness is half the battle.” When you become aware of what’s been truly running your life and your emotions, and acknowledge that this is your life and these are your emotions – without blaming the world – that is taking emotional responsibility.

Here are some behaviors your ego just loves. They stem from fear, and it’s good to be aware of the extensive influence of fear when you heal emotionally:

  • Judgments and Projections: Remember, if you spot it in someone else; you’ve got it too.
  • Expectations and Control: The ego selfishly wants what it wants or is in fear and may try to control other people and force the desired outcome.
  • Minimizing and Justifying: This is the ego’s attempt to make obvious wrongs and misbehavior seem inconsequential or trivial
  • Shame and Blame: The ego likes to create stories of shame, blame and guilt to justify holding on to past hurts; a waste of time and energy
  • Poor Me: Ultimately, you are not a victim of anything or anyone. All oppression begins in the mind. You choose how you perceive and, thereby, experience everything in life.

When you begin your journey toward emotional mastery, remember:

  • Never skip steps: If you try, you’ll just have to go back and do the work at a later time. Life will make sure of it.
  • Avoid simply skimming the surface of your emotions: Get down to that subconscious stuff that holds you back, so you can clear it at the deepest level.
  • You’ve got to want it: You need to be committed to doing whatever it takes to heal yourself emotionally. Life will not ask you to do whatever it takes, but you need to be willing to.
  • You’re only done when you’re done: Issues will keep showing up in your life until you learn the true lessons they were meant to teach you. Hang in there. It’s worth it.
  • The process of healing emotionally will get easier as you keep going with healing and correcting your mind, perceptions, attitudes and behaviors.

To find out more about how to help yourself emotionally and those you love, check out my book, “Ride the Emotional Wave: How to Create Wealth, Health & Love Through Emotional Mastery.” Also, check out my Services on how I can assist you personally on your journey to emotional mastery.

And, as always, live your passion.

Maren Nelson

What is a Healing Crisis?

A healing crisis is your Wake-Up Call from the Universe, summoning you to wake up to life. These awakenings are not always fun or easy to go through. They are pushing you to grow in consciousness.

Most people need some kind of upheaval in their lives to begin recognizing that it’s time to:

  • Make corrections within their minds
  • Heal those places in their lives that don’t really work anymore.

This awakening may come as an illness, loss of a job, ending of a relationship, death of a loved one, and so on.

Your healing crisis may start out as a feeling of discontent, or a gentle whisper in the back of your mind. If you don’t pay attention then, the next time it may come as a nudge. The next time, you may feel like you got whacked upside your head. If you don’t pay attention and act then, it could come as a Mack Truck. You don’t want a Mack Truck. Those can be very painful.

Use your healing crisis as a catalyst to move forward in your life.

Use it as your sign from the Universe that’s it’s time to heal your mind and emotions.

It’s time to claim your authentic power – which is Love.

To find out more about what to do when you’re in a healing crisis, check out my book, “Ride the Emotional Wave: How to Create Wealth, Health & Love Through Emotional Mastery.” Also, check out my Services on how I can assist you personally.

And live your passion.

 

Maren Nelson

Where It All Begins

When you were born, you were indoctrinated into the mass consciousness of this world. Within your family, or the people you grew up with, there were agreements about what to believe and how to behave. These are called tribal agreements, forming a structure within which you can all coexist.

You have agreements with the world as a whole, as well as your race; your nation; your community; the people who share your religious or spiritual beliefs; your work associates and peers; your friends and family; your intimate relationships; and even with yourself.

Sometimes, these agreements grow outdated, or they just don’t work for you (and maybe everyone else) anymore.

Many erroneous beliefs developed from misperceptions at birth and early childhood, and got buried in your subconscious. They may be running your life as an adult, even – or especially – if you are not consciously aware of these hidden beliefs. They were formulated at a stage of life when you were incapable of understanding your experiences the way an adult does.

Many of these unconsciously held beliefs are irrational, and have created irrational behavior and drama in your life.

There is a way to clear the past, and all of the limiting misperceptions, beliefs and emotions you suppressed, so you can stop replaying the past and bring your energy and attention into the present.

When you are present, you will be more effective in every area of your life. It’s time to reexamine your beliefs and where they came from.

(Brief explanation of Chapter 1 from Ride the Emotional Wave)

With Love and Appreciation,

Maren Nelson

We’re Never Healed Alone

One of the first things I learned when I began my training in Breathwork was that we are never healed alone. Whenever we experience a shift in perception or consciousness that shifts our lives, the people who are closest to us will be affected also. This includes our families and close friends.

Even if you are thousands of miles away and experience some kind of personal healing, your loved ones will feel the effects. Time and space are an illusion. They may not be consciously aware of what has happened, but at some level they will know. I’ve had this happen hundreds of times for myself and my clients.

Many times I’ve been in a session with a client and I would have them visualize that person and tell them what they needed to say as though that person was right there. My client might experience a deep, profound love or forgiveness for that person. In that very moment, that person they were sending the psychic message to would call my client on the phone, leaving a message that they were thinking of them and felt a strong urge to call.

There have been times when I’ve wanted to tell someone close to me something that had shifted in my life but stopped from telling them because I knew they might not be able to hear it at that point in their life. However, I knew that they could receive the message at an unconscious level. I would  visualize my friend and send my conscious thought through  “The Psychic Hotline.”

I hope this message encourages you to know we are never healed alone, and to always remember your passion.

Best, Maren Nelson

Healing the USA: Crisis Is Our Opportunity

Do you realize that the USA, along with our entire planet, is going through a healing crisis?

Here’s the interesting thing: it’s the same kind of healing crisis I talk about in “The Five Stages of Healing.”

Let’s quickly recap the five stages of healing:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Sadness
  5. Acceptance

Bye-Bye, Denial!

It seems the country is emerging from Stage 1 – Denial – especially concerning the rampant abuse of power that has been going on for far too long in government, academia, and other bastions of authority.

We are moving into Stage 2 of a healing crisis: Anger.

And our anger is heating up as horrifying reports continue to flood in from people who have spoken out, after suffering in silence for years. The ugly acts unveiled in these reports may feel overwhelming to some of us, and unbelievable to others.

In our fury, we look for people to blame, to punish, and to bring to justice to those who have abused their authority with impunity.

Telling the Truth Takes Courage

I know from personal experience how much courage it takes to speak out against abuse and injustice, from the stand I recently took against a company where sexual harassment was rampant.

When I told a couple of friends about the harassment, one person thought I should just ignore it. The other person said I should retaliate with the same aggressive, abusive energy that the managers of this company threw at their employees.

I told both friends, “If I react by lashing out, nothing changes, and I’ve lowered myself to their level. If I do nothing, then nothing changes.”

Shortly after, I filed a sexual harassment report with the EEOC.

Silence About Abuse Changes Nothing

I really didn’t care about financial compensation. I just wanted these guys to know their behavior was unacceptable, as well as illegal.

Also, I wanted to protect the young girls who worked there so it didn’t happen to them.

It wasn’t any fun to do this, but I don’t regret doing it. The experience of taking a stand and following through on it helped me heal some of my own abuse issues.

Since then, I’ve been learning how to more consistently, clearly, and firmly speak my truth and set my boundaries, especially around sexual harassment.

The inner strength and courage that has emerged from my experience with speaking out has made this possible, and I am grateful for it.

My goal is to keep speaking out; with less and less anger and more and more grace.

Crisis is Part of the Healing Process

As I witness the country moving through a similar process, I have a hope that a profound healing is taking place for all of us.

Yes, we are facing a crisis of major proportions.

And yet, it may yield rich opportunities for healing, here. This is how John F. Kennedy summed up his thoughts about crisis:

“The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word ‘crisis.’ One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger – but recognize the opportunity.”

We must look at what is going on as a necessary part of the healing process.

As with many a healing crisis, sometimes things need to get worse before they can get better.

It Can Get Better. We Can Get Better.

I thank God that these abuses, stemming from ego and lack of love, are coming to light.

It is the only way we can heal in consciousness to make the necessary changes to move forward with love and respect for all life.

As the year ends and we look with hope to the New Year, may God and His Legions of Light bless us through the stages of anger, bargaining, sadness and acceptance yet to come.

I pray for the wisdom to follow His guidance, which is forever leading us home to acceptance, forgiveness, and love.

Hold on for the emotional ride yet to come for our country, and remember: The Holy Spirit will use every experience for healing and our journey back to Love.

May you have a wonderful holiday season filled with lots of love and laughter.

Peace in the New Year,

 

Maren Nelson

Learn to Ride the Wave

If you are like most people, you were taught to suppress emotions from day one. Don’t be too loud. Don’t be sad! Don’t be angry! Don’t be too happy!

Perhaps, at other times, your emotions feel overwhelming and out of control, like a tidal wave that picks you up and carries you along, helpless in its grip.

Most of us had parents who didn’t understood emotions any more than their parents did, and neither did their parents, and so on. They were taught to deny or suppress their emotions. That’s what they taught us, because it was all they knew.

Honestly, most people don’t really understand their own emotions or other people’s, let alone how to help themselves emotionally.

Perhaps you have come to a point in your life when you realize it’s time to take responsibility for yourself and your life. You are willing to do whatever it takes to know peace. You are willing to do the work to heal your mind.

For the next 14 months, I’m going to be putting up posts every month based on the different chapters of my book, ”Ride the Emotional Wave: How to Create Wealth, Health & Love Through Emotional Mastery.”

If you are new to my website and sign up for my monthly newsletter, you will receive an email containing a link to my Special Report, “The Five Stages of Healing.” In this report you will find a simple guide to assist you emotionally in your daily life, based on my book.

For those of you who are on my mailing list, let me know you would like a copy of this and I will send you the aforementioned email with the link so you can also download a copy of this report.

Directly dealing with your emotions, instead of denying or hiding from them, can seem frightening if you have never done it before – maybe a bit like a surfer just learning how to ride a wave.

However, once you get your emotional sea legs, the rewards of knowing you can handle yourself under difficult circumstances – even if they take you by surprise – are great:

  • Increased self-confidence
  • Willingness to take inspired action
  • Opening your heart to love again
  • Taking a chance on learning something new that could change your life

My prayer is that you will enjoy all of these blessings, and more, as we walk this path of Emotional Mastery together.

 

With love and appreciation,

Maren Nelson