Author Archive | Maren Nelson

Learn to Ride the Wave

If you are like most people, you were taught to suppress emotions from day one. Don’t be too loud. Don’t be sad! Don’t be angry! Don’t be too happy!

Perhaps, at other times, your emotions feel overwhelming and out of control, like a tidal wave that picks you up and carries you along, helpless in its grip.

Most of us had parents who didn’t understood emotions any more than their parents did, and neither did their parents, and so on. They were taught to deny or suppress their emotions. That’s what they taught us, because it was all they knew.

Honestly, most people don’t really understand their own emotions or other people’s, let alone how to help themselves emotionally.

Perhaps you have come to a point in your life when you realize it’s time to take responsibility for yourself and your life. You are willing to do whatever it takes to know peace. You are willing to do the work to heal your mind.

For the next 14 months, I’m going to be putting up posts every month based on the different chapters of my book, ”Ride the Emotional Wave: How to Create Wealth, Health & Love Through Emotional Mastery.”

If you are new to my website and sign up for my monthly newsletter, you will receive an email containing a link to my Special Report, “The Five Stages of Healing.” In this report you will find a simple guide to assist you emotionally in your daily life, based on my book.

For those of you who are on my mailing list, let me know you would like a copy of this and I will send you the aforementioned email with the link so you can also download a copy of this report.

Directly dealing with your emotions, instead of denying or hiding from them, can seem frightening if you have never done it before – maybe a bit like a surfer just learning how to ride a wave.

However, once you get your emotional sea legs, the rewards of knowing you can handle yourself under difficult circumstances – even if they take you by surprise – are great:

  • Increased self-confidence
  • Willingness to take inspired action
  • Opening your heart to love again
  • Taking a chance on learning something new that could change your life

My prayer is that you will enjoy all of these blessings, and more, as we walk this path of Emotional Mastery together.

 

With love and appreciation,

Maren Nelson

The 5 Stages of Healing

In Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’ information on death and dying, she reveals the stages a person goes through when they grieve. These five stages: Denial, Anger, Bartering, Sadness, and Acceptance, are also the same steps you go through whenever you let go of anything whether it’s a person, a place, an issue, or a belief.

Over time, as you gradually release all of that emotional energy you have been holding onto that doesn’t serve you anymore, you will go through these same steps.

For the purposes of emotional clearing, I refer to these stages as The Five Stages of Healing.

  1. Denial – “This can’t be happening. This is a joke, right? Right??!!”
  2. Anger – “It’s so wrong and bad and unfair that this is happening! Someone must be to blame!”
  3. Bargaining – “If I stop doing X or start to Y, will you make it stop happening?”
  4. Sadness and Grief – “My heart is breaking.”
  5. Acceptance and Surrender – “It happened.”

After a lifetime of suppressing emotions (because that’s what you were taught to do), it’s going to take time to clear them from your body and mind to find the peace you really want.

Be patient with your process. It’s different for everyone.

See your process of emotional healing as an adventure, and hold on for the ride of your life.

There will be highs and lows along your journey toward emotional mastery that will gradually level out over time.

The good times will  last longer and come more often, and the lows won’t last as long or come as often.

Eventually, the lows will be higher than the highs used to be, yet there will be a sense of balance and security as you come to trust the process, God and most of all yourself.

You can truly become a Master of your life.

And in the meantime, Live Your Passion!

With Joy and Appreciation, Maren Nelson

The Misperceptions of Judgments

I want to talk about something that I feel very strongly about. Our judgments about other people (and ourselves) can affect their ability to correct their misperceptions about themselves. If they can’t shift their misperceptions, they can’t shift their behaviors and heal.It’s important to separate the “sin” from the “sinner”. This is the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt tells us, “You did a bad thing”. Shame tells us, “You are bad”.

Do you know that the word “sin” is actually an old archery term that means to miss the mark? If you make a mis-take, you get to do it over until you get it right.

Yet, most of us have been taught that a sin should be judged and punished. This belief may be so strong that we believe in our hearts a sin is punishable by banishment and/or death.

Now, I know there is a catch with this…Sometimes some people are so programmed and entranced with their misperceptions that they will do almost anything to hold onto them even if they are unhappy, and they make the people around them unhappy as well.

To think of shifting these beliefs can actually feel terrifying because this is what they know. At an unconscious level they think, “If I’m not this, who am I?” They have forgotten what they are is Love.

What could happen to the world if instead of severe punishment, we offered love? What if we were to come up with better ways of helping one another heal our minds and hearts?

Of course, there are those people who have deep psychological issues and would need more help. There are those who are locked so deeply into their misperceptions they are violent and abusive. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t take care of yourself when you’re around these people. I’m just saying I think there is a better way we can be in the world sharing this journey together.

I hope as I pass this information on and with the questions I’ve raised we can begin to see and experience each other and ourselves with more love and compassion instead of fear and punishment.

And live your passion.

With Joy, Maren Nelson

What Do You Want?

As I sat across from my friend, I could see he was feeling troubled about what to do with his life. “All these years, I’ve done everything everyone told me would bring me happiness. I worked hard and got good grades in school; went to college and got my degree. I got a good job and got married. Within a few years, we had a couple of kids…but, somehow, I feel like I was lied to.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I don’t really feel fulfilled with my life, and I don’t know what to do about it,” he said.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this or something similar from people.

For me, the response was simple. “Well, what do you want?”

He looked dumbfounded. “I…I…I don’t know what I want. No one has ever asked me that before.”

Now, this was a very smart, well educated man. He had experienced a level of success in his life with running his own business with several employees for over a decade. Yet, here he was at a loss as to what he really wanted. I saw his mind wander as he began to think about the possibilities.

I suggested to him that he make a few lists:
• What do you want?
• What do you love?
• What are you good at?

“Some of the things may be the same on the different lists, and that’s okay. For instance, I love loving people, and I’m good at it. Write things that may not seem relevant.

When I first did this, I wrote things like I love to hike in the woods, and I love good sex. Let the little kid in you come out, and have fun with this. See it as an adventure; not as a chore. Then, if you’re really committed to getting clear on this, add to the list every week. I got to where I was adding new ideas every time they came to my mind.

As the lists get longer, start breaking them out into categories like career and relationships, including friendships. What kind of car do you want? Do you want to travel and where? If you want a house? How many rooms does it have? Does it have windows? What color is the carpet, or does it have hard wood floors? Get specific!” I could see his eyes light up as we talked like something deep inside had been awakened.

I was first guided to do these lists when I was 26 years old. Back then, I didn’t know I could want anything for myself, and I didn’t have a clue what I wanted. My lists were pretty pathetic in the beginning. I knew I was good at loving people, but how do you make a living at that?

Within a matter of weeks of doing this, I went in for my first breath session. Halfway through, I realized it was everything I’d put out on my lists in the way of a career. I wouldn’t have known or allowed myself to do this if I hadn’t written those lists.

Here I am after all these years still loving what I do, and it’s such an expression of who I am.

If you’re up to it, I encourage you to do this for yourself, and let me know how it works for you.

And live your passion.

With Joy, Maren

 

Riding The Emotional Wave

Good morning!

I want to share with you my first blog post I put up in February 2010. It’s also the beginning of my book, “Ride the Emotional Wave: How to Create Wealth, Health & Love Through Emotional Mastery.” It’s such a great analogy as to how emotions work and how to work with them I wanted to share it again. Please note: this has been copywrited.

“I’ve been putting a lot of thought into coming up with a title for what I want to share with you here. Where do you start with a topic like, ‘How to work with and clear emotions?’ Emotional Mastery popped into my mind. So…what does emotional mastery mean?

When I think of emotions, I think of their similarity with water: there are ebbs and flows…sometimes calm and quiet, sometimes wild and out of control. Some people are flooded with emotions while others have learned to live with a drought.

When I think of emotional mastery, I think of a surfer who goes out for the first time to learn to ‘ride the wave’. He rests on the water, waiting for that perfect swell. Then, he paddles out wildly to try to meet it. He gets on top of his board and tries to control it…the water rises…he feels a momentary rush of energy run through his body…and CRASH!!!…he plummets into the depths. Hurt, but still hopeful, he tries again. As he struggles to his feet, he feels his board wobble on this next wave. He tries to control it again…and…down he goes!

If he keeps at it, he gradually gets the hang of things. He allows others “in the know” to guide him in the process. Now, when he goes out on the water to surf, he looks ahead and sees that perfect wave. With strength, purpose and direction, he swims toward his goal.

His legs have developed so that as he steps onto the board, he can better maneuver it as he feels the water rise under him. He no longer tries to control his experience but knows how to ride it through. He works with it. He feels exhilarated as he realizes he and the water are one. He has learned to master the wave!

Learning to work with your emotions is just like this. When you first start out, you’re bound to get knocked around a bit. As the floodgates open, the gush of suppressed emotions from a lifetime may feel overwhelming. However, as you keep going, it gets easier.

As you become more and more clear, you trust your emotional guidance system. Your eyes and your heart are open, and you make better choices. The old drama gradually disappears as you remember you can choose peace instead of conflict. You are aware of the daily miracles being sent your way often in places you never expected. Your emotions add the color and flavor to life and, now, you relish them.”

I encourage you on your journey. Remember to live your passion!

Peace and Joy, Maren Nelson

Which Wolf Do You Feed? Love or Fear?

 

There is a parable that’s been on my mind for some time. The Tale of Two Wolves is often attributed to the Cherokee Indians, but may have come from another source.

 

“A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other. 

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, ‘The one you feed.”

This story could be seen with the two wolves representing fear versus love.

Perhaps, without consciously realizing it, you spend far too much of your time ruminating on old hurts, boundaries crossed, and unkindnesses you’ve experienced.

How does this make you feel?

Does it bring your energy down?

If you’re like many people, it leaves you feeling weak and less than you hope to be in the world.

You might project this inner guilt, anger and resentment onto other people, and hurt them in the process.

Or…

You could choose to feed the other wolf, the one who loves, and is brave and kind.

You can choose which reality you want to experience by, consciously and with full awareness, turning your focus onto love.

Allow yourself to think about what you are grateful for with them or in other areas of your life.

Love and gratitude go hand in hand. You cannot have one without the other.

Think about what is working in your life.

Now, you are feeding your energy to the loving wolf, and this is what you will experience in your life. This is what you will see.

Like Gary Zucav says: “Where your attention goes, you go.”

If you’re like me, you may want to become aware of which wolf you are feeding most frequently in your life, in your mind and in your heart.

Is it love or is it fear? Is it appreciation or is it negativity?

You choose…

And remember to live your passion.

Maren Nelson

Love Vs. Fear

Helping You Transform Fear into Power

Love is authentic power. Any emotion that is not based in love is ALWAYS fear based.

When you experience any other emotion than love, you are not in present time. You have brought the past into the present through the emotions you’ve suppressed throughout your life. Many times this happens unconsciously and instantaneously without you even realizing what you’ve done.

The world tells you power comes from force. However, force, in its many forms such as anger, control and manipulation, stems from the ego which is based in fear.

Here are a few different emotions that fall under the category of Fear vs. Love:

Fear: 

Abuse, aggression, anger, apathy, arrogance, attack, condescension, confusion, control, critical, cruelty, denial, depression, destructiveness, disappointment, disgust, doubt, forcing, grief, guilt, hatred, insecurity, intimidation, jealousy, judgment, rage, resentment, righteousness, sadness, selfishness, shyness, and worry.

When you experience fear or any related emotion, your aura and chakras close down in an attempt to protect yourself. Your breathing becomes short and shallow, or may even stop. Your attention is focused inward as you become narrow-minded. You can’t see the whole picture.

Your mind spins around endlessly, creating stories that continue to feed off each other (many of which are not even real), bringing suffering. It’s not fun to be around someone who lives in fear.

Love:

Acceptance, allowing, appreciating, balance, bliss, compassion,  confidence, contentment, courageous, devotion, ecstasy, empathic, forgiving, generous, gentle, giving, grateful, harmonious, honest, humble, humorous, joyous, kind, lighthearted, loyal, noble, open, peaceful, receptive, reliable, respectful, responsible, spontaneous, surrender, and trust.

Love expands, whereas fear contracts.

When you are open and connected with life, your aura and chakras open up.

Your energy expands.

You can feel when you are open.

You have a broader awareness of your surroundings. Your attention is focused outward.

Your breathing is deep, full and relaxed.

You can feel when someone else is open, too. Their energy field has expanded. While standing next to them, you may get goose-bumps (or God-bumps), or a tingling up your spine or at the top of your head. It feels good to be near them.

You may actually see Light around them. They are glowing and radiant. When you see the Light in them, it reminds you of your own. You feel lifted up. Their openness and love help you to open too.

To get to this place of openness, most of us need a process to correct the misperceptions and conscious, and unconscious, limiting beliefs that create this separation or split.

When you make the decision to heal emotionally, it’s helpful to find a good healer to guide you through the territory of emotional clearing. They will save you a lot of time, money and years of suffering.

Once you begin the process of emotional clearing, you will experience the full range of emotions over time, including feelings that got suppressed.

When the negative emotions release, you will have more clarity and will see Truth.

Then, from this place of authentic power you will naturally share your acceptance and love. You will want to share your gifts and talents with the world.

Live your passion,

Maren Nelson

 

 

Releasing the Illusion of Shame

A couple of months ago, I put up a post about how the ego is based on the Belief in Separation.

A Course In Miracles talks about the deep sense of shame and guilt that everyone feels at their core. This guilt comes from the belief that we have separated ourselves from God, each other and all that is. We believe we have placed our will before God’s will who knows that each of us is pure and innocent and without sin.

The ego would try to tell us that we are alone and on our own. The world the ego would try to show us is based on fear. We even try to keep each other in this illusion of betrayal, self-doubt, lack of trust and lack of love.

We are not aware of the huge burden we put on ourselves while trying to keep this lie in place. It takes a lot of energy and focus to continue to live in a world of fear. It drains our life-force.

Because we believe the worst of ourselves, we act out of our misperceptions; again an insane attempt to try to make them real.

We project onto others our own deepest fears about ourselves, deepening the sense in separation at every turn. We’ve forgotten who we are.

Let’s say a friend, or loved one, or even someone you barely know tries to project onto you their own feelings of guilt and shame.

They may truly believe that they are right, and you are wrong.

They may even become aggressive in their attempt to try to get you to see things their way.

They may sit there like God, passing judgment. They accuse and they sentence you to be punished for your imagined sins. Ultimately, the only punishment that will ever appease this person is death.

This may sound extreme except this is exactly what the ego tells us every day.

If you choose to you could believe this person and use this experience to add to the belief that you are bad and deserve to be punished. You could continue to act out from this misperception, thereby increasing your belief in separation.

If your try to handle this on your own, the world does seem to be a lonely, violent, and unforgiving place.

Or, you could remember: NONE OF THIS IS TRUE!!!

It is possible to see the world, yourself, and even this person differently. It’s as simple as a shift in perception.

You were never meant to do it on your own!

God doesn’t even recognize the separation or the ego. He knows that we are always and forever One.

God knows that nothing of this world will ever change the fact that you are pure and worthy and loved.

Love waits on welcome. And with your welcome, it will flood you with profound freedom and joy when you simply lay your burden down, and remember you are Love.

Now that you are free from the shackles of shame and guilt, you can rechannel that life-force energy to create a world that you want, a world filled with Love.

You are a magician with the freedom and clarity to express and create your purpose and your passion.

Joy.

Maren Nelson

Do You Use Judgments to Control Other People?

I want to talk about something that I feel very strongly about. Our judgments about other people (and ourselves) can affect their ability to correct their misperceptions about themselves. If they can’t shift their misperceptions, they can’t shift their behaviors and heal.

It’s important to separate the “sin” from the “sinner”. This is the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt tells us, “You did a bad thing”. Shame tells us, “You are bad”.

Do you know that the word “sin” is actually an old archery term that means to miss the mark? If you make a mis-take, you get to do it over until you get it right.

Yet, most of us have been taught that a sin should be judged and punished. This belief may be so strong that we believe in our hearts a sin is punishable by banishment and/or death.

Now, I know there is a catch with this…Sometimes some people are so programmed and entranced with their misperceptions that they will do almost anything to hold onto them even if they are unhappy, and they make the people around them unhappy as well.

To shift these beliefs can actually feel terrifying because this is what they know. At an unconscious level they think, “If I’m not this, who am I?” They have forgotten what they are is Love.

What could happen to the world if instead of severe punishment, we offered love? What if we were to come up with better ways of helping one another heal our minds and hearts?

Of course, there are those people who have deep psychological issues and would need more help. There are those who are locked so deeply into their misperceptions they are violent and abusive. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t take care of yourself when you’re around these people. I’m just saying I think there is a better way we can be in the world sharing this journey together.

I hope as I pass this information on and with the questions I’ve raised we can begin to see and experience each other and ourselves with more love and compassion. And as always, remember your passion.

Best, Maren Nelson

The Belief In Separation

I want to share with you something that I think will make a few of your heads spin, but I’ll go ahead anyway.

Everything in this world tells us that we are separated from each other. Even (or I should say, especially) our bodies seem to prove that this is true. We see someone over there, we feel other people and things and our bodies tell us we are separate.

The ego is based on the belief in separation…separation from others, the world, God, and our true Selves. This belief is literally insane. If we were separate from all that is, we wouldn’t exist.

The ego tells us we must defend the body from attack. We believe we must attack others to defend ourselves, and they attack back. We see fear and suffering all around and we believe this is how the world just is. We do not realize this is the world we have created through our egos.

However, there is another way of seeing things. It is through the recognition of what we really are which is Love. The way to create this shift in perception is by retraining of the mind.

As long as we experience ourselves in this world, we will have an ego. However, as we heal our minds of the belief in separation, we don’t allow the ego to run the show. We put Love back into the driver’s seat. We allow simple acts of kindness to the world and to ourselves to guide us.

We are not alone in this process of healing the mind. We have assistance and guidance available to us who can help us in every moment of every day. All we need to do is remember to ask for help with everything.

I choose to call this guidance God which, to me, is synonymous with Love. You can choose whatever higher power you want that works for you. Or…you don’t have to believe any of this and can choose to believe whatever you want.

I believe the only choice we have is how long we choose to stay in fear and suffering. Why wait? You can choose love over fear now. And, of course, always remember your passion.

Maren Nelson